While out running errands I was almost smashed into by a cockbag in a shiny new Passat who didn’t feel like stopping for his red light. I then watched him weave through traffic, cutting people off and racing through 30 mph zones at 45 mph. (There happened to be a speed checker thing on that street.)
The abundance of idiocy on the San Diego freeways is mind boggling. Driving around town isn’t much better but at least collisions happened at a lower speed. It’s to the point where I’ve decided fuck having a car when we move. I never want to see another freeway with a douchecan going 95 in his suburban again.
Alas, I’m here and driving is an unavoidable every day occurrence. So my new plan is to get a bunch of bumper stickers made that I can keep in my glove box. Then when jackasses almost barrel into me, I can subtly follow them to wherever they’re going, wait for them to go into the building and then sneak over like a revenge ninja and put a bumper sticker of my own choosing on their car.
Such as:
-Support your local KKK
-Gay For Pay
-Honk if you love pedophilia
-I have a tiny penis
-My vagina is a festering wound!
-I slaughter kittens
-Hitler was right
-Jesus sucks dick
-I <3 beastiality
-Beat Your Kids
-Polygamist and proud!
-Death to all dolphins
-Fuck endangered species. I kill what I want!
-Euthanize over 65
-Fuck jews
-I brake for underaged pussy
-World peace is for fucking pussies
-I <3 fecal play
-No means Yes, so get undressed
-Skullfucker 4 life
Then hopefully, these shitburgers will drive around with that bumper sticker on for a while. When they do finally notice it not only will it piss them off and embarrass the shit out of them, they’ll have to scrape that thing off their bumper.
Wheeeeeeeee!!!!
Tags: bumper stickers, driving, offensive, revenge!!!!!, road rage
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